Welcome to ShittyTarotReadings.com
REAL TAROT WEBSITE
Probably not the answers you wanted.
I am a filmmaker, traveler, writer, and longtime student of strange spiritual traditions. I've spent an unreasonable amount of time around mystics, temples, shamans, cremation grounds, and questionable holy men.
I have been reading tarot for years. I look at the cards, tell you what I honestly see, and skip the enchanted customer-service voice.
Ask about love, work, travel, creative projects, spiritual confusion, bad decisions, repeated patterns, or whatever strange situation brought you here.
Yes, this is a real booking website.
How to book without making a whole situation out of it:
$33 recorded and sent
One clear question. I record a direct 10-ish minute video and send it to you. Not live.
Good for: Travel decisions, spiritual advice, creative choices, one strange situation, or a question you do not need a live call for.
After: Pay, send the question and any context, then I send back a short video with my shitty advice or holy opinion, plus a written PDF summary.
$77 30 minutes
A live 30 minute session for one specific topic. We can use tarot, or just talk through it spiritually and directly if that feels better.
Good for: Love, work, travel, creative projects, repeated patterns, or a decision that has a few moving parts.
After: Pay first, send the topic, and then we find a time that works. Tell me if you want tarot specifically, or if you just want a focused conversation. Afterward you get a detailed PDF summary.
$125 60 minutes
A longer live session for a specific topic with more room around it. Tarot is available, but we can also spend the hour in direct spiritual conversation.
Good for: Big transitions, relationship messes, spiritual confusion, career questions, or a full look at what is going on.
After: Pay first, send the topic, and then we schedule together. Bring a main question, several smaller questions, or a general cloud of concern. Afterward you get a detailed PDF summary.
Tarot is for reflection, perspective, entertainment, and spiritual exploration. I am not replacing a doctor, lawyer, therapist, accountant, emergency service, or common sense.
The 10 minute option is a recorded video sent to you. The 30 and 60 minute options are live by phone or video call, scheduled together after payment.
Yes, but time still obeys linear reality. Pick the 30 or 60 minute reading if the situation has layers, side quests, or several people behaving strangely.
No. Tarot is one medium we can use, not a requirement. The 30 minute and 60 minute readings can also be a focused spiritual conversation about a specific topic.
I can read patterns, possibilities, tensions, and likely outcomes. I cannot guarantee the future, override free will, or issue lottery numbers from the astral customer desk.
Pay through PayPal, then send your details through the form. The form opens an email to Dakota with your reading choice, topic, preferred method, and scheduling information.
Yes. Readings come with a detailed PDF summary afterward, so you do not have to remember every strange thing that was said in real time.
Use the reschedule link from the booking service once real booking links are connected. Until then, email the webmaster like it is 1999.